Monday, September 8, 2014

Dear Fat Girl

Good evening Fit-Fam!!! Tonight I thought I would share a letter with you all. I was always told at the beginning of this weight loss journey, to write a letter to my future-self for when I need motivation, and so I did. Over one year ago, I wrote to myself. Tonight, I will share that letter with you and also write a reply letter to my past self. If this doesnt touch your heart, you might need to check your pulse.
Dear Sarie,
I come to you tonight to offer a memory. It is March 20th 2013, and I currently weigh 240.2 pounds. Is it silly to write myself a letter when I am not even sure that I will ever change? Maybe... I want to lose weight. I know I have said that a thousand times, and I always give up. I am still not even sure that this will be any different, but tonight I had to buy new underwear because my other underwear are cutting too tightly into my hips. They are a size XXL. I honestly don't know how I let this happen... I don't understand why when I look in the mirror, I dont feel "THAT BIG." I am completely in denial. 240 pounds isnt THAT bad...right? Wrong. I am so miserable. If I ever follow through with this weight loss thing, and should ever NEED to read this, I guess the  truth is better motivation than anything. I am miserable. I hide it well with a smile, but I still cry in the fitting rooms, and thats IF I even go clothes shopping anymore. They dont make cute clothes for "fat girls." I have a lot of "fat" friends who are absolutely as happy as can be with themselves. Why can't I be like that? I swear I fake it so often but I don't even look in the mirror anymore... I spend more time hiding from the camera, than I do actually enjoying myself. I rarely even go places anymore because I dont want to be seen like this... I hate when people watch me look through the clothing racks. It is absolutely humiliating to be seen grabbing the very last hanger in the back because I need size "whalephant." If by some act of God, you are reading this letter for motivation to keep pushing forward, hear me out. I am not happy. Underneath it all, I swear to you, I am not happy and I beg you to please not let me live my life like this. My husband and kids deserve so much better than this.....
Sincerely, Fat Girl.

Dear "Fat Girl,"
I come to you tonight to offer you a much needed lift in your spirits. The year is 2015... I first of all, want to say, that you are a STRONG WOMAN. Absolutely every broken piece of you has been held together because you have a heart of gold. I hope that you knew somewhere in your heart that you had it in you, all along. I know this because I am you, over one year later. You are not a "fat-girl" anymore. You are not miserable anymore. You have fought against the wind, and walked uphill in the dark, backwards, blind, to fight your way to this point. NOTHING about the last year was easy, but every triumph shook off a few of those demons that used to hold you back. You ran a 5k without stopping. You can officially go clothes shopping without crying, and you certainly do NOT have to pick from the back of the racks anymore! You have lost 95 pounds! You went from someone who knew NOTHING about nutrition, to a Certified Personal Trainer! You never stop smiling, and you walk with your head held high. It is amazing to be able to be around people and for once NOT wonder if they think you are fat. It is amazing to be able to get dressed, and NOT have to change clothes because of the way things fit. Nothing hugs too tightly, and nothing fits your shape awkwardly anymore. Yep- thats right! You have a shape! I know you were a broken soul before, but I need you to know that you were still able to succeed. I come to you tonight, proud. I am here to prove you wrong, because I always said one day I would. One day I would beat the odds; I would lose the weight. I know that behind that chubby smile was a LOT of depression, and today, both the depression and the chubby smile have packed up and left. You, are worth it. You were ALWAYS worth it, dearest fat girl. You just needed to prove it to yourself, because after all, you were the only one who didnt believe you could do it. Congratulations on your success, hot-stuff! Now lets go change lives!
Sincerely, Sarie. the NOT-fat-anymore-girl. xoxoxoxoxo





56 comments:

  1. That is amazing .... Congratulations and very well done

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  2. Just wanted to let you know that I went to the doctor earlier this week, and I weighed in at 205 (waaaaaaay bigger than I've ever been in my whole life). I stopped weighing myself about six months ago when I weighed in at 180, and the 205 number blew me away, completely. My husband and I want to start trying to get pregnant over the summer, and I want to be healthy for my kids, so I've started a diet this week of cutting back entirely on processed sugar and carbs, as well as beef, pork, and cheese. It's hasn't been a total struggle, but it's hard (especially when there's three nights of eating out in a row, and one of them is at the friggen Cracker Barrel--not getting chicken and dumplings made my whole life sad!), but I'm doing it, and your letters to yourself have motivated me to write my own letters to myself.

    Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. You, unknown, give me hope. Be healthy for your kids and be healthy for yourself! As far as i am concerned, You are cutting out the right foods! Dairy, ugh! Eat your veggies and your tastes will change! I have all the faith in you xo

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  3. I saw this from buzzfeed. I completely get it, its like I'm reading my own story.
    I'm nowhere near where you are now but my God Im happier than before and I will get there. I've just signed upto a boot camp something when I started slow last March I would never had done never mind passed.
    I'm not alone, thanks for being so honest

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. This post is amazing. I started a diet with my doctors persistence, in November. I was 281 pounds. I am now 261 pounds. I am proud of myself but I know it's not where I need to be. My goal is 150-170. I have a long long way to go and I really feel like I will never get there but your words are so motivating and has made me want to write a letter to myself. Thank you so much.

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  6. Love this!! Wrote my own letter to myself at https://dewoggawoogahavvachee.wordpress.com/2016/01/10/excuses-excuses/

    Inspired by this! Hoping to emulate you in the near future! Kudos!

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  7. It's as if I could write the first letter to myself. .Thank you

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  8. I read this post beacuse I needed a reminder that losing weight can be done, but I read this and honestly felt like you were writing this article about me, everything you wrote hit home this is exactly my present state at the moment my exact weight and mentality. I told myself that enough was enough I will lose weight not only to be healthy, but happy and feel worthy about myself once in for all! Thank you so much there aren't words to describe this feeling.

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  9. I'm in a similar boat and trying to take the steps I need to, to be healthier. There's so many things I want to do that my weight holds me back from. I want to dance. I want to run and jump and not be winded. 260 now, was 272 last month. More changes to come. I will write a letter to myself, too! Thank you for your story, it has inspired me!

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  10. This is really inspiring! I'll probably use your letter as my motivation. :) Thank you!

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  11. Replies
    1. Me too. We are NOT alone! We will not be this way forever because that second girl is in here too and we just have to WORK TO FIND HER. Right?! RIGHT! I was going to post my own little note about this but seeing yours is exactly what I was going to write, so instead I decided to write to YOU! Hope you see it and that maybe it helps.

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    2. THANK YOU SO MUCH you are so nice! I actually woke up really early today and went out to walk and started a diet plan this week (from a real nutritionist) and I'm currently working on my goal building momentum and meditating every day to find the strength to just keep going.

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  12. You are an inspiration. The fact that you did this with 100% diet and exercise makes me believe in the efforts I have been making in my life, when everyone else is saying I should be using this product or that product. Thank you for posting this. And I am glad that you are so much happier.

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  13. I don't have to write myself a letter- I can just use yours! I am absolutely, 100% unhappy with the 246 lbs I've become. Even during pregnancy I wasn't this big. I hold my head up high, I even crack jokes, but inside I am miserable and self conscious. How I envy the girls my size who accept themselves. I know I'm not done making excuses... after all, there's still housework to do, studying to do, a family to care for and work to clock in. But your letter is so true to my own story it gives me hope that one day I will start and this time, not look back.

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  14. I found you from a Buzzfeed article I read on Facebook. I want to say thank you for being an inspiration. You have inspired me to write myself my own letter to stay motivated to lose weight. I currently weigh more than I ever have in my whole life, and I am unhappy with it. I keep making excuses every time I get myself motivated to do something about it. Something needs to change. I no longer want the aching feet and back, nor the high blood pressure, or trouble finding clothes that fit me. I am able to use the gym at my husband's work for free, and I need to start using it! Thanks again for inspiring me.

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  15. Thank you for sharing this, I'm struggling with weight and I'm scared living a life like this. I found out from my doctor that my lifestyle not just caused me to be overweight but also to be sick. I wanna live longer, I wanna have kids, I wanna get married, I wanna grow old and grow old healthy and happy. I'm 224lbs heavy and I'm scared that it would just continue going up but seeing this gives me hope, a small step is still a step towards a better me. Thanks you again..

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  16. thank you, this is touching and inspiring.

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  17. congratulations!!! your story is amazing!!! a true example!

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