A few days ago, I was having one of those days where I started out eating really great, and on track, but by the afternoon I found myself spiraling out of control ready to go on a high speed chase after the nearest Little Debbie truck. I thought for sure that I had awakened my former fat-girl with a vengeance, because she was glossy-eyed and ready to drain Coldstone Creamery of all of their ice cream. Suddenly I was not human anymore, my pupils were dilated, and I was salivating over thoughts of chinese food dipped in mexican food dipped in bacon dipped in bacon dipped in bacon dipped in bacon dipped in........... *dizzy face* (whew! sorry I lost my train of thought there for a second!) As if Coldstone, (salted caramel ice cream, with cookie dough chunks, inside of a chocolate dipped waffle bowl with white chocolate drizzle) wasnt enough, guess who prepared, and then DEVOURED a chocolate marshmallow pie? Thats right.... Yours truly. I am not perfect, and that is why I stress so hard to you all that you CAN do what I do. "But I'm not like you Sarie." Yes you are, let me tell you why.
I have good days, and I have bad days. Learning to eat healthier was not difficult necessarily, it was learning to use self control that took practice. I was the girl who used to make a 5 inch thick vanilla-oreo-cream-cheese-whipped-cream-no-bake-cheesecake when my best friends came over, just because we could. My sweet tooth was NOT ready to make the changes that needed to be made, and it took practice. You look at me and see someone who has discipline, and motivation on a daily basis, but remember that this is not day one for me. Your day one, will not look like my day 425. My day one looked JUST LIKE YOURS.
I did not roll out of bed one day and decide to be a nutrition super hero. To be more accurate, I rolled out of bed and was reminded once again, that my knees hurt because my thighs, belly, butt, and everything else was so heavy. I was AFRAID to take the plunge into healthy living. I didnt know where to start, and I was more lost than half of the toys in my kids' room. I wanted an easy answer, because I didnt even believe I could do it, and that was what had kept me from trying for so long. It was easier to NOT try, than to risk trying and possibly failing. It's weird for me to look back at that version of me, because it feels so foreign, so unrecognized, and so unfamiliar. I am not the same girl anymore, because I finally reached a point where I was so unhappy where I was, that even the risk of failing was looking easier.
I am this way because I MADE myself this way. I can not stress enough how amazing we are as humans, look at how we can train our bodies, minds, and emotions! My page one was just like yours, and with each passing page, I got stronger, a little better, and a lot more confident. I suddenly realized that I wasnt risking failing at all, and that the only thing that was in my way, was myself. So if you are finding yourself feeling a little afraid, just remember, all you have to do is turn the page! No one is reading your book except for you, and you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to as long as you have a desire to change - and dont worry, those days when you feel like chasing down the little debbie truck will happen. simply pick up the pieces and start over the next day. :)